welcome to pen and prose
life updates, thoughts on how to be hopeful as a creative, and friendship in fiction.
Hello, there! Welcome to my Substack. I’m trying out this new platform, as I’d like to get back into blogging/newsletter-ing, apparently Substack is the cool new thing, and authors are always being told we need newsletters. So, let’s give this a try! My goal here is to post once a month. I’m going to primarily talk about the writing life. I’ll discuss the writing craft, share recommendations of books and shows I’ve loved, and share some updates on what I’m working on. And cute pictures of my dog, Mysa, of course.
Whether you’re a writer, book lover, or literature aficionado in whatever form, I hope you enjoy this publication.
Some life and writing updates
I’ll start with some updates. As most of my friends and literary acquaintances know, I’ve been writing a women’s fiction novel for a while now. In a nutshell, it’s about a suburban yoga mom turned aspiring psychic who begins seeing visions, which prompt her to leave her cushy life to explore this newfound ability, her pre-teen daughter begrudgingly in tow.
For the past year or so, I’ve been querying this book, which is basically the process of pitching it to literary agents. For those not immersed in the publishing business, these agents are like the middlemen between writers and publishing houses; they pitch manuscripts to the publishing houses on behalf of writers. I haven’t yet found my perfect agent match, but that is okay! I’ve learned throughout the past year just how crowded the market is. A lot of people have finally had the time to write that novel they’ve always wanted to during the pandemic – which is awesome! – and for a variety of other reasons, the process of finding an agent has just become more competitive and time-consuming. But not to be deterred; we’re in this for the long game. 😉
So, earlier this year, I took a break from querying the book. During that time, I’ve been editing and implementing feedback from an editor I worked with and from a contest I entered. And I was planning my wedding. Then, we had said wedding and went on a honeymoon to Portugal right after. As I dive back into the tumultuous waters of querying this book again, I’m trying very hard to temper my expectations, or in an ideal world, to let go of those expectations.
My latest thoughts on the querying and pitching process
During this whole process – not just the novel, but the process of submitting short stories, too – I’ve been thinking about my relationship with hope. It’s something essential that I think you need to have as a writer – or any type of creative – but it’s also a double-edged sword. Maybe that’s not exactly the right metaphor. But figuring out how to hold just the right amount of hope can be tricky. Too much hope, and you’re bound to be disappointed at just about every turn. But too little is also troublesome; it’s pessimistic, and we can’t go on in work and in life feeling hopeless.
So how do you balance having hope and faith in yourself with the inevitable disappointments, the failures and rejections that are bound to happen? How do you hold space for hope that what you’re working on matters; that your art might make someone feel heard and seen one day; that it might connect you to readers?
It’s tricky to do, and I don’t have a perfect answer. One thing I try to do when I’m putting my work, and by extension myself, out there is to pay attention to how I’m feeling. If the rejections from agents or literary journals start to wear away at my confidence (and it often takes a while for me to realize this) then I have to take a break. I go back and edit or write something else or enjoy reading other people’s books, or whatever.
And this is very silly, but I’m going to share it here anyway. I also keep a little journal of positive things and compliments that people have given me about my writing and inspirational phrases I hear. A few months ago, I read part of my short story at a community reading event, and after the program ended, one guy came up to me and gave me a beautiful compliment about what I’d just read.
“You have a really bright future ahead of you,” he said, and of course, I wrote that down in the compliment journal. It was so nice to hear. It’s important to remember that these nice sentiments are equally as valid as the opinions of those who rejected the story, or the agents who “didn’t connect with” the novel. (No shade to agents, this is just a phrase that often comes with the rejections).
What I’m reading
Lastly, I’ll share a recommendation of the last book I read, which I really, really enjoyed. I’ve been a big Kristin Hannah fan since reading The Nightingale back in 2015, and after finishing Firefly Lane on Netflix earlier this year, I decided I had to go back and read the book. It was so beautiful and moving and it depicts best friends so honestly. I was crying towards the end of it just like I was on the last episode of the show. There were some key differences between the book and show, which I don’t have time to get into, but in the movie, the essence of the two protagonists, Kate and Tully, and their friendship remained very true to the way Hannah wrote them.
I’ve been really drawn to reading stories about women’s friendships lately. It’s a theme I’ve always been interested in and something that shows up in my writing. And I think in this season of my life – getting married and planning a wedding – my friends have been so crucial in keeping me grounded and sane and feeling like myself amidst this important event and change.
Kristin Hannah talks a lot about this theme and the importance of her girlfriends in her own life, and especially in Firefly Lane, you can see just how much friendship means to her. I could hear the voices of Tully and Kate so well as I read these pages, and it makes me aspire to write characters like this, who can finish each other’s sentences and are so attuned to each other’s thoughts and needs and fears and hopes.
I think my favorite line in the book is: “That was what a best friend did: hold up a mirror and show you your heart.” It really encapsulates how well best friends can see each other and the power of that relationship to lift you up.
So, I’ll leave you with that thought. Go tell one of your best friends you love them, send them a funny meme or tweet, or arrange a walk or FaceTime date. Or maybe do all of the above.
What are some of your favorite books or shows centering on friendship? Leave your thoughts in the comments.