embracing the chaos of beginnings
sitting through the discomfort of beginnings can often lead to beautiful destinations
I’ve been thinking a lot about beginnings lately and how, often, they can seem so tough and uncertain. I’m trying to start writing a new novel, and being back in this spot - at the beginning of a longform artistic project - I’m reminded how daunting it is.
I’m not someone who can plot out novels. Maybe I will be one day, but part of the fun for me is not knowing how exactly a story will end and writing it to figure that out. This makes the first draft of a novel especially intimidating.
My husband also started a new job a few weeks ago and talking with him about this process helped me remember just how much ambiguity and uncertainty one has to accept at the start of a new venture. There’s a level of trust you have to have in yourself that things will start to feel easier and more defined and your vision will become clearer a little further down the line.
Just like starting a new job - or moving to a new city, learning a new language - you have to be okay with your relative lack of knowledge and your status as a beginner or newcomer. This can be scary, but this space is also ripe with opportunity. Opportunity to gain new knowledge, discover something about yourself, or allow a creative project or professional endeavor to develop in a surprising direction.
About five years ago, I took a series of courses at The Writer’s Center called The Extreme Novelist, taught by author Kathryn Johnson, who has written many books, including a great writing craft book by the same name as the course. The course and her book espoused the method of writing messy, “bad” first drafts of a novel as quickly as possible so that you can move on to the infinitely easier and more fun work of editing subsequent drafts.
I learned a lot in that course, both about the discipline it takes to write a novel, turning off the voices of self-criticism, and how to permit yourself to write poorly in the early stages of a project. In short, how to experiment on the page, knowing that you can go back to fix, edit, or delete later on. This is something I try to carry with me each time I sit down to write a new short story or chapter or even when I write something at work that feels a bit challenging.
In writing, as well as in life, there are ways to make beginnings feel a little more comfortable, and a little less like being thrown into the deep end without a life vest or swim lesson.
gut check with a friend or colleague
Something I rely on heavily during early drafts of stories or novel chapters is my writing group. It’s hard for anyone to see their own work or performance with perfect clarity, which is why it’s important to have peers and mentors who can provide more objective feedback. Some writers like to wait until they have more developed, near-finished drafts before sharing their work with a writing group or with beta-readers, but I find it helpful to get a pulse on how well something is working even in its early stages.
At work, a similar principle can apply. Whether you’re at a new company, in a new role, or just seeking feedback on how effective you are, checking in with a trusted coworker or boss can help you get a more realistic assessment.
take baby steps
In my husband’s new job, his company gave him a 30, 60, and 90 day plan for success. Each plan is basically a checklist of things to accomplish in that time period, starting with very small logistical steps (setting up logins to different accounts, making sure he’s plugged into Teams and Slack).
The thing is, these small accomplishments quickly build, creating a sense of momentum. This sense of achievement makes you feel capable of making more progress. Starting out doing just a little is the key to doing a lot more later on.
be kind to yourself
The beginning of any new endeavor is hard. We’re not as comfortable in our footing, and we don’t fully know what a new job or artistic project might entail. And that’s part of the fun; having the opportunity to evolve with a new experience.
Remember to be kind to yourself along the way, and talk to yourself as you would a friend who is embarking on a new project or transition. It’s a much more pleasant way to navigate the uncertainty of charting new waters when you treat yourself lovingly along the way. And, research shows that self-compassion leads to better performance in many settings and is correlated with having a growth mindset, an essential quality for improving at anything.
What other tips do you have for navigating the uncertainty of beginnings? Comment below!